{the tender mercies of the Lord}

Today I am 33 weeks and 5 days along with this pregnancy. This afternoon, I went to the bathroom and noticed a little spotting of bright, red blood. I immediately called Travis, picked him up from school and we headed to the hospital. On this very day, at 33 weeks and 5 days pregnant with Elaine Raquel, the exact same thing happened. There is no way to know if that bleeding was correlated with her passing away. Cervical bleeding can just happen during pregnancy. Well, today I was shaking with fear to say the least. They hooked me up to the monitors and our little guy was just doing great in there! Everything was perfect. They did some cervical checks and we were sent home. They are definitely getting to know us well in Labor & Delivery. At 34 weeks and one day (this Sunday is the equivalent), Elaine's heart stopped beating. This is that exact same week.

I haven't had bleeding this whole pregnancy, yet the one time I do, it's on the exact same day as when we experienced this last time. 

We left the hospital confused. Reassured that our baby boy was doing well inside me, but confused at the timing of such a random symptom. And exhausted, mentally and physically exhausted.

And then about thirty minutes later we received a package in the mail from Texas. It was from my parents and two little brothers who are still living at home. I opened the lid of the shoe box and immediately started to cry. On the top of a lot of yummy treats and a Josh Groban CD {specifically sent for the song "Don't Give Up"} was a stack of letters. The first thing I saw were these words written in my little brother's handwriting: "Wherefore, if a man have faith, he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope." 
-Moroni 7:42

And then there were the most thoughtful letters written to me Travis from my parents and brothers; letters full of faith filled testimonies and encouragement to get through these last few weeks. 

And in that moment I realized how it all happened on purpose. The bleeding, the timing of the bleeding being this exact week, the package, the timing of the package coming. It was all a tender mercy from the Lord to tell us that He is close, and that He is going to help us through this---it will all be okay. Confusion turned to clarity as we realized my inspired parents sent an inspired stack of letters at an inspired time to have it correlate with a moment of panic, which they obviously had no idea would happen. And that's how the Lord let's us know He's here all along the way.

"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance" -David A. Bednar

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/04/the-tender-mercies-of-the-lord?lang=eng