{thanksgiving 2013}

There is so much to be grateful for! We've had a fun week and are enjoying a little extra free time with Trav not having classes. We had fun watching movies from Redbox, pie baking, going to see Catching Fire, eating a great Thanksgiving dinner with friends, playing paper football {which Travis surprised me with and had all set up. It's a tradition in my family to play flag football on Thanksgiving, boys vs girls, so he came up with a great pregnancy version!}, lots of food, pies, and just being together. Our house is now officially prepared for Christmas and we are now just waiting for the best Christmas present to arrive in exactly two weeks; our little boy!

A grateful heart is a happy heart.

{almost there}

16 more days! It seems too good to be true. After talking with our doctor, our new induction date is set for December 14th! It is feeling so close now. I love that our "faith jar" will be left with scriptures of faith in it, since now there are more slips of paper in there than days left. We are definitely coming out of this with a bit more faith then we started with! These past 18 months have been quite the crazy ride. We have been learning intense lessons in faith and patience; it's been exhausting physically and mentally and we are ready to have this baby on the outside of me. I have no doubt that after our little guy is here I'll feel my belly for kicking, or wonder if I've felt movement. That's been my focus for this pregnancy, and my mind is so wired to be in tune with his movements that I guarantee I will have to catch myself feeling for them after the 14th! We are at 36 weeks this weekend!

{random happenings}

1. We went to our first UNC soccer game last weekend! We also spent that night sleeping on our family room floor on an air mattress since the carpet in our bedroom closet was replaced.

2. I got to take pictures of all the ladies cross the finish line at our Relief Society 5k! North Carolina is breathtaking in the fall time. The leaves have been so colorful for weeks! I can't wait to run the 5k next time.

3. I go to UNC Women's Hospital twice every week for a doctor's visit and for monitoring. It will go up to three times a week starting soon. I've learned that non-stress tests have a deceiving name; they are stressful! But I'm getting used to it all. I asked if I could just move into the hospital and be hooked up to a monitor 24/7 but that's not going to happen, haha! The nurses and doctors are so nice and keep telling me to come in as often as I need aside from my appointments. There's a chance of us inducing even earlier than is currently planned too, so we'll see! I am convinced we have the best doctors/facilities/care that may exist in this entire world. And it's all under a one minute drive away from our house.

4. Travis has been busy with school and an accounting conference. I just finished a fun editing freelance project and we are getting ready to meet our little boy---we will take him whenever he decides to or needs to come!

{the tender mercies of the Lord}

Today I am 33 weeks and 5 days along with this pregnancy. This afternoon, I went to the bathroom and noticed a little spotting of bright, red blood. I immediately called Travis, picked him up from school and we headed to the hospital. On this very day, at 33 weeks and 5 days pregnant with Elaine Raquel, the exact same thing happened. There is no way to know if that bleeding was correlated with her passing away. Cervical bleeding can just happen during pregnancy. Well, today I was shaking with fear to say the least. They hooked me up to the monitors and our little guy was just doing great in there! Everything was perfect. They did some cervical checks and we were sent home. They are definitely getting to know us well in Labor & Delivery. At 34 weeks and one day (this Sunday is the equivalent), Elaine's heart stopped beating. This is that exact same week.

I haven't had bleeding this whole pregnancy, yet the one time I do, it's on the exact same day as when we experienced this last time. 

We left the hospital confused. Reassured that our baby boy was doing well inside me, but confused at the timing of such a random symptom. And exhausted, mentally and physically exhausted.

And then about thirty minutes later we received a package in the mail from Texas. It was from my parents and two little brothers who are still living at home. I opened the lid of the shoe box and immediately started to cry. On the top of a lot of yummy treats and a Josh Groban CD {specifically sent for the song "Don't Give Up"} was a stack of letters. The first thing I saw were these words written in my little brother's handwriting: "Wherefore, if a man have faith, he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope." 
-Moroni 7:42

And then there were the most thoughtful letters written to me Travis from my parents and brothers; letters full of faith filled testimonies and encouragement to get through these last few weeks. 

And in that moment I realized how it all happened on purpose. The bleeding, the timing of the bleeding being this exact week, the package, the timing of the package coming. It was all a tender mercy from the Lord to tell us that He is close, and that He is going to help us through this---it will all be okay. Confusion turned to clarity as we realized my inspired parents sent an inspired stack of letters at an inspired time to have it correlate with a moment of panic, which they obviously had no idea would happen. And that's how the Lord let's us know He's here all along the way.

"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance" -David A. Bednar

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/04/the-tender-mercies-of-the-lord?lang=eng

{baby shower}

This past weekend my friends threw me a baby shower! It was so fun celebrating our little boy and I love now seeing the drawers in his room full of the cutest clothes, toys, and books. I am so grateful for all who made it such a perfect afternoon! Definitely great food and fun games. It meant so much to be able to celebrate this little guy and to keep moving forward with faith and hope.

This coming Saturday will start the 34th week of this pregnancy. This was the week that Elaine passed away, at 34 weeks and 1 day along. I've wondered for the past few months what it would be like to reach this exact point again, how I would feel and how things would be. It's all been somewhat of a surreal dream. Some days fly by and others drag on, leaving me unsure how to keep going.

Once we hit 34 weeks and 2 days, I think mentally things will be a bit easier. So for now, I'm just grateful for good doctors, for medical testing, for the hospital being just one minute down the road, for feeling the intense punches and kicks going on in my stomach all the time, and most importantly, for knowing who the Master Physician is---Jesus Christ. And He is with us every second of each day.

39 more days to go.

{halloween weekend}

We had so many trick-or-treaters come by this year! It was fun to see all the cute kiddo's dressed up too. Trav & I watched Monster's University {which we loved} and then went to our ward's fall festival the next night. After staying for a bit, we headed over to the UNC basketball game with the Evans. It was such a fun atmosphere and we are excited for the basketball season this year. Travis gets in for free to the games, so hopefully he gets his basketball fix in!

{the small seed}

Lizzy from The Small Seed website asked me to share a story of faith on her site. Her website is fabulous---full of uplifting and inspiring messages. We need more good in the world like her site!

You can read my post here.